Today was a blur to begin with. My day began at the beginning, meaning that I did not get much sleep last night. Tossing over the many things in my work day, wrestling with what I spend my time on, trying to weigh the best choices and maybe simply working through my fears.
It seems crazy at times that I struggle with fear, the basic reality that I cannot control everything that happens next in life is enough to start me down that path. It isn't the choices I get to make so much as the choices others make which will affect me. This is where the fear comes in.
As I write this I am remembering how my experience growing up overseas has impacted my life. Ever since I have returned to the usa my anxiety has been raised. I noticed it most when my wife and I worked in the Dominican Republic. The moment I stepped off the plane and started our journey toward the place we were going to work I started feeling a peace inside. I felt connected with the culture and pace of life, like I had returned home. Perhaps it was the return to the third world that I connected so much with, a cultural bond.
It is an interesting thing though and intend to keep wrestling with it.
The beauty of it all is that in the haze of the morning I knew the place to be was with the One that has it all in His hands. A place of humility and a place of rest. There is comfort in the unknown with Jesus.
